The new surroundings.

12th Feb.. i am back..and looks like i will be here much more since sumone keeps on pestering me to do so...anyway past few days have been tuff on me..i had taken a decision which i think is rite due to the circumstances..i dun regret the decision..i regret the pain and suffering endured aftermath..i know its difficult to comprehend..i know its ridiculous to think about...but it has happened..

I am in a new situation..i cant fully understand the physics of it..i dun think i will anytime soon..ppl are quick to judge sumone without fully defining the finer details of the mechanism..i wish them none the less..for the one tht i still love, i am sorry for this whole chirade..it was not my intention..i misintepreted the situation at my side and hence it headed to doom and all is not lost as we have each other to shoulder on during the difficult times.. to you i say this never give up even tho one barrier is placed..its always my wish to see you grow into sumthin i never would have hoped..

you may feel lost...so do i..just like a ghost...with no purpose..but i am sure you will fine tranquility within the self made security that has been blended onto you by the vacuum tight bond..

i know you will prosper into sumthin unbelievable..you always had faith..maybe thts wat brought you down a few steps..but tht very faith will bring you up leaps of heights..remember this as a life time advise..

The most cynical episode of my life..

*Indian:Malaysian Indian
*Malay: Malaysian Malay
Ok...before you read on...this blog is about what has happened in Malaysia past few weeks..soo if ur a stout indian or malay...dun read...save yourselves the misery..

But for the people who rather have sense prevail..feel free to flicker along..
First off, I am Indian. I am actually very proud to be one.
Was i surprised of what happened Nov 25th?.No chance in hell.
Do I think it will change anything? I am not sure.
What surprises me the finger pointing between both parties and in the bigger picture both religions..
Yes, sadly to say- it has become a matter of Muslims vs Hindus in the cyber world and apparently in the streets as well..

Look, maybe I support the rally, maybe I dont..but Indians have to realize that the timing was absolutely wrong. This should have been done in the 1960s..this should have been done when the NEP was implemented. I saw footages of the rally on the net and I was not surprised.

The Indians, please realize this, no matter what indifference you are faced with, if you want to demonstrate, this is the tools you need.. educate yourself to a high level, work your socks off, make a name for yourself, dont be an alcoholic, dont be a thug, dont be like a gangster..only then your demonstrations will make a big difference.Till then , I am sorry to say you are running a lost course. Get your names off the front news for murders and rapes and accidents and scams..Then you can show your intent. I do wish all the indians the best and I have encouraged as many indians as I could to participate in life-enhancing academics because lets face it we are only 7%. That should not stop us, infact that should the tickets to easier access, soo please put a bigger effort in self-realization first.

Now, the Malays, look..lets face it..racial discrimination does take place in Malaysia..We all know the Bumiputeras gets the "benefits" as opposed to the chinese or the indians..of all the sensible malays i have talked to, they agree and they say that its true. Now if you dont agree, please stop reading because you are either blind or just insensitive or you want all things to come your way. The first step to realizing it to admit this "problem". Think about it, is it really that hard to be fair to all?Is it?Really?

I read comments in youtube saying stuff like its MALAY-sia..yes..it is Malaysia..but whoever wrote that blog clearly doesnt understand the referandum and constitution of our country. The only reason why MALAYA was there because of the British naming system.

Them some of them brought up about Muslims were the one who ruled this land at first..now this really bugged me and I simply replied that the first Kingdom to rule the Peninsula was in fact Parameshwara from Palembang and he was Hindu..and that technically the war with Indonesia in the 1960s was in fact a waste of time because the Malay indigenous were actually from Indonesia after that there were no replies from them anymore.

Then there were some who brought about how the Agongs are Sultans are Malays and Muslims.Again history. The Agongs and Sultans are not powerful enough to dissolve a race, they are capable of dissolving a government. The term Sultans were first recognized in India by the way!

The best part of all is how the politicians are playing this around.
First off, I dont like how the governing parties are handling it.
Secondly. the oppositions are just chewing on it as bait for the general elections.

Two things can happen:1. Full scale racial riots which will just destroy Malaysia
2. A change in political hands in the general elections.

I have been a registered voter for 2 years now and I have not voted and I will not vote for a time to come. I dont believe in politics, I believe in fairness and togetherness. I love my country, I will always love it. This is where I was born, this is with whom I spent my childhood with. Some of my closest friends are Malays. So please for the sake of all Malaysians abroad, work this out. I dont wish to see my country crumble after 50 years of economic climbing.

The mood of thinking,

The patience is thinning,
The frustration thickening,
While you stay simmering,
I lay here wearing,
I wonder of your seeking,
Maybe I am not of your keeping,
Everyday somehow I am sinking,
While my thoughts are already drowning,
Every minute is like a new updating,
Because right now nothing is in writing,
I hope I see you in a mood of tickling,
Sooner or later I may be soothing,
The taste of a bitter lashing.

The end.

The past memories...

18th October...let me make this clear to everyone...i only blog when there is sumthin significant in my life...soo lets jsut say its quite mundane rite now...infact i am full of downs rite...i am not sure writing this blog is a good thing...

The only good thing i guess shud be the 2 editorials and my tutorials...second one sounds bad eh?..

Anyway...past few days all i have been doing is reminiscing the past few years of mine...starting since when i arrived in singapore till this second...

They have been certain good parts offcourse...and bad ones...

I just wonder how people change over time while I stay the same...personally that is!

I always been the idiotic character since ages!!...but I cant accept that people closest to me have changed to become just worried about themselves....

It surely doesnt make sense that you have known me this whole time and yet you can get pissed for the smallest thing...not remembering the past memories and efforts...

I hope for you that it doesnt come to the point where it doesnt affect me if you are pissed...then...tht would be just catabolic...

Is it me or you seem to just care about how you feel?...when its all fun and games...you laugh and laugh...and yet because you feel bad and embarassed...you suddenly decide that you rather get pissed...yea...LOGIC!

And then blame me that i dont know when to stop...Hey...i have learned to accept things on the lighter side...its my ploy...my trade...my significance...either you can play along or not....Dont do this HALF-HALF thing...

You know..wat am i to do..when I am serious...I always get this shit thrown to me "STOP LECTURING ME"....when i am jovial...i still get sum ...wats your bloody problem...its not that you conversed rite??....its not that you came up with sumthin to talk about??

Bones and fire,
Fire and bones:
We cannot look!
It will sear our eyes!
Even here is beauty,
The ashes of love.
To see you truly
I would have to die

The change in atmosphere..

4th october...sooo its bye bye clementi...bye bye jalan lempeng...hello to somerset baby!!...i am leaving my place...and i think its sumthin amazing..because even in KL...i stay in the centre of the metropolitan PETALING JAYA....there is no need to travel 20 minutes for NTUC...there is no taxi fare for mediteranean food...u feeel my drift...

well..teh deal is finalized...sunday is the day i move out...everything was great except for maybe the agents heart attach stricken laughs and the landlords constant huhs to me...but atleast she knows malay...god bless malaysia!!...hahaha..

packed up?..YEA...payed bills? YEAcleaned home? YEA...all i am waiting for the customs to let me pass...

and its hello mr filipino...ms chinese and mss chinese and indonesian landlord from now onwards..and one mr indian...its a lovely place...i amm soooo extremely happy...

hoping now she doesnt complain tht i am too far awae from her...heck she will say the same even if i stay the next door...:P

now tht this episode is done...its time for a new beginning with urban living...heres to another gr8 8 months in this place!!!

the opera..

23rd September..today was suppose to be an monthly important day in my life..however it has turned sour since i did a blunder that probably will cost a lot more..

late last nite i had to go out to view a place in kalang since i am seeking a new place to stay but i had forgetten to take my phone which proved to be deadly..

i remembered that i must msg sumone special to me sumthin special at 12am sharp but when i checked my pockets to msg..i realized that it wasnt there with me...i was like F***...but then i thot it would be allrite i will just msg her when i get home..

things took a turn for the worst...when i missed the last bus home which was at 1210..shit!...allrite..wat can i do...i cant tke a cab..my finances is not good...soo i had to walk to city hall where express 5o2 was still operating till 130..soo walked there...got the last but full bus at 1245 or so...reached the pandan road and had to walk again from there which took another 30..soo i reached home sharp at 128...checked my phone and dreaded it..i explained tht i din forget jsut tht i left my phone behind and i was out...i din explain that i was alone during my outing...tht i din have coins to spare...becuz she was pissed already..

guilt filled my heart and mind...i was like ok i screwed up....but then i thot ok why din she msg me at 12am aswell...ok nvm..maybe she was online because i left my com on aswell...but nothing was displayed there aswell...ok nvm..maybe she had sumthin to say so she wrote it on her blog...but nothing again...i am not sure whether she did write sumthing and then deleted it...but however this lack of activity suggests that you didnt show that you were interested in it...then why make me guilty...

but for wat i did i am sorry and i have said it twice already..but if you think i did it on purpose or anythin like tht...please dun get me rong... I am sorry..please forgive me...i know for my part i was wrong for being careless about this...but after this i am not going to say anything more..because the opera requires for two instruments to be played in order for the set to click..

I AM SORRY..

The blackout..

September 20th 2007..a day that will live in infamy..once hailed as the new dawn of the beautiful quickly turned sour with the turn of events that will bemuse us for a period of 13 hours.

So quick was the change in mood that its unbelievable how circumtances change into coincidences.Chilling with my gf till her concert started was quite the thing to do even tho it meant more annoyance to her.however there came a time where i had to leave for home only to find our electricity has been cut because love did not pay his part.

nightfall was looming and we did not know wat to do since darkness is not something that we are used to.anyhow..dinner was served with my torch and we stuck it out with vigilance and "disturbances"

lovely as it may sound this will surely be stuck in my head as the most intriguing thing that can happen to me.

tc